At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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