what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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