you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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