if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
