dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
