So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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