I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
