I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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