the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
