I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
