We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
