so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
