can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
