I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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