I didn't shave. On purpose
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
