I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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