i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
