what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
