Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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