We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
4 words: hood of his car
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
