have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
