bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
