Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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