fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
