I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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