im drinking this country out of the recession.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It's official drugs can't kill me
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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