why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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