She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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