just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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