My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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