there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
