Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
