I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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