All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
