She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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