What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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