Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
