pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
