I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
