Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
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