I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Someone signed my nipple.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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