HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
