my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
