If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
