belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
