you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Randomize
