I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
