What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
My vagina just clenched in fear
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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