dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
