i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
